The Male Clothing Disadvantage

As I pull off my tie and unbutton my collar; with sweat coating the body beneath my shirt, let alone how uncomfortable the rest of me feels, as a man I feel hard done by.  I know that the increasingly obsolete nature of men in the 21st century is our gender's punishment for centuries of oppressing women.  However, in this hot weather, I just wish companies were less complicit with making men endure discomfort day in/day out.  A couple of months ago when selecting which shoes to put on to go out, the 11-year old boy who used to live in my house, complained to me that all the shoes he had looked like 'girls' shoes'.  This is not because he has a cupboard full of pink pumps, it is because every style of shoe a boy might wear is now worn by girls.  Yes, girls can wear pumps and court shoes, they can wear calf-high, knee-high and even over-the knee-boots; they can wear them with heels of various types or flat; smooth-soled or with tread; they can be shiny or matt.  Yet, these days it is acceptable for an 11-year old girl to wear trainers (sneakers in the USA), DM boots,  flat ankle boots, basketball boots, worker boots, lace-up or slip-on brogues even wellington boots, all styles once seen as 'boys' shoes'.  No wonder he had no style that he did not feel would make him look feminine.  Gender identity is something we are all conscious of especially when growing up.

In the recent hot weather, I have similarly become very conscious of how many more options my female colleagues have in what to wear to work compared to me.  The can wear a suit and tie the way I am compelled to, whenever they wish.  However, in the hot weather, that is the only option I have.  I could wear a short-sleeved shirt, still with a tie, but immediately would look as if I had become 65, not something desirable in the current workplace.  The best I can do is take my jacket off.  My female colleagues, however, flaunt their freedom and come in a wide range of clothing seen as suitable for the office and which is immensely cooler; many have a different outfit for each day whereas I just have different coloured suits to choose between.  A man is ridiculed if his trousers are above his ankle and yet my female colleagues can come in skirts above the knee, or midi or even maxi so large they can swirl around in them; even skating-style skirst.  They can wear tight or loose trousers, harem pants, long or short culottes, long leggings, cropped leggings, capri pants, pedal pushers, Bermuda shorts, cycling shorts (if matt) and traditional length canvas shorts.  About the only fashion off limits for the workplace are the bum-hugging denim shorts so favoured by female students.  Women can wear blouses with long sleeves, short sleeves or no sleeves; tops with some, a few or no buttons and all of these things in a range of shades. 

The dichotomy between how comfortable a man is allowed to be in this weather and how comfortable a woman can choose to be is shown every morning by the difference between the male and female presenter on the BBC Breakfast programme on BBC1.  This morning the man was in a suit, with jacket on, and a tie; the woman was in a sleeveless dress.  Studios may be air conditioned, but it is very hot under those lights.

A large percentage of my female colleagues are in sleeveless dresses and sandals, seen as acceptable for the workplace.  If I turned up in a teeshirt (let alone a sleeveless one), even a short sleeved shirt unable of having a tie, and shorts, no matter how much they looked like those worn by the Bermudan police, I would be sent home.  I read some months ago a comment that the tie shown on the novel 'Fifty Shades of Grey' (2012) did not reflect what men actually wore to work.  I have no idea what it is like in newspaper offices, but every day you see men heading to work and indeed in offices (I just walked past an accountants' office full of them) with the ties on.  This is the expectation in many British workplaces, there is no other option when you work in an office.  Pity those compelled to turn up in uniforms fit to work outside in December.

Ridicule and condemnation awaits any man who wears sandals even on his days off let alone at work.  Dressing in a way which would give me some modicum of comfort in work, is liable to damage my standing in the job.  I have two interviews next week.  The interviewees I have seen at my workplace this week have all been in sleeveless dresses, so each probably carrying many hundreds of grams less in weight than I will be compared to do and without it all pulled tight by the top button and the tie.  I will have to drive in these clothes, I will have to sit waiting in these clothes, I will have to concentrate while being interviewed in these clothes.  I am not going to perform as well as my rivals.  In my department there are 7 men and 53 women.  The imbalances of the past can be seen that even though there are so few men two of the four deputy-heads of the unit are men, though the current and past two heads have been women as is her boss.  This suggests that in my industry, though, there is no need to further favour women in interviews, by making the men feel so uncomfortable.

I am not a transvestite.  I have no desire to wear 'women's clothes', but certainly when the temperatures reach a certain level, I think there should be more leeway for men.  We should be allowed to remove ties for a start.  I am tired of having a chafed neck every evening; it is agonising when the sweat pours into yesterday's wounds.  An open-necked, white short-sleeved shirt can be very smart.  For trousers, long shorts in cotton, say in navy blue, again would look smart.  If sandals are unacceptable then slip-on pump-like shoes in a dark shade and allowed without socks again could take a lot of heat off male employees and yet look as if they mean business.  However, I know this is never going to happen in my lifetime and I simply have to pray for more summers like 2012.

I have taken a bold step and looking around the world at what men who want to look smart in hot countries do, I have ordered a white thobe (also known as a thawb, dishdasha, kandura or suriyah), a long loose garment warn in North Africa and the Middle East.  I doubt I have the courage to wear it to work and if I did that would probably be my career over, no matter if it was a 'dress down' day.  In addition, given that I now walk to work, the chances that I would be reported as being 'suspicious' as people travelling on public transport in London are advised to look out for and would be picked up by the police as a terrorist threat before I reach work.  Being bald I had been tempted to buy a skull cap too as my head burns as I walk home; I have worked out a route which is most shaded, to reduce the damage.  However, I may try a brimmed hat, a little like those Australian ones, and hope that the clash of cultures will reduce the apparent threat I pose.

In the mid-Victorian and the Edwardian periods there were campaigns for 'rational dress' for women.  These did not really win through until after the Second World War.  I think we need to introduce 'rational dress' for working men which allows them to work without being endanger of over-heating in the office and having to spend the evening tending to the chafed skin around their necks and other parts of their bodies.  Men have been backed into a single option for office wear and puts us at even more of a disadvantage in the workplace than is already the case.

Gothic culture - it's for you

I promised something on Gothic culture in the UK today. My name at the top may have betrayed my interest in this side of things. Most people know that Gothic culture as manifested by your local Goth (now quite a rarity in the UK, but strong in Germany and in various parts of the USA) was a distortion of early medieval German culture, primarily reflected through the Gothic Revival of the early 19th century. It exploded into popular culture in the 1980s running alongside other ostentatious strands like New Romantics, but proving to be much more enduring. I think that is, that aside from the music anyone getting into Goth could explore a load of poetry and literature stretching back almost 200 years. Even Hollywood has got on board, going back to 'The Crow' you only have to see all the 'Blade' movies, 'Underworld' movies, 'The Matrix' triology, and now even 'Batman' and 'Spiderman' are getting Gothic flavourings. Old songs by The Cure get used in advertisements. So you have recent and vintage culture to draw from. There are now many sub-genres ranging through Corporate Goth, Fairy Goth and Skater Goth and even on the fringes fetish-lovers had taken on many of the Gothic elements, black and shiny appealing to both camps.

So, though Goths may not be as numerous as they once were their culture is bleeding into the mainstream. Why this resilience and popularity when other fads of the 1980s have been consigned to humorous documentaries? Well, everyone looks good in black, not matter what your build or size you can find good Gothic clothes. You can be manic as a Goth and flail around on the dance floor or sit quietly in the corner. You can simply put on black trousers/skirt and a black shirt or you can invest something a bit more interesting. Long leather coats, knee-length boots, long metal rings and for the women everything from spectacular dresses to miniskirts to zipped trousers from pointed shoes to clompy boots, all appear on the Goth clothing menu; velvet, leather, silk, brocade, vinyl, lace, all the richest, most exciting fabrics are there. It is not all black either, purple, rich reds, emerald green. So you might stick out when you wander down to the shopping centre on a Saturday, but who wants to blend in, be yet another in pale jeans and a fleece? In addition, though you will astound and sometimes scare others you will never go anywhere uncommented upon and the best bit, you feel strong. My partner describes it as her 'armour' when in her Goth clothes she feels she can face the world. In age when different cultures have disappeared and everyone looks like a chav or a raver, seeing another Goth is a great sensation, you feel the instant affinity, part of a disparate tribe (though these days heavily inter-connected by the internet) and you can feel both outside of society but part of a richer society all at once.

Gothic culture goes well beyond the clothing. People say it is all about depression and suicide and hanging around in graveyards. However, such people have not talked with Goths. The bulk of the population hide their unhappiness beneath consumerism and false happiness usually sustained by buying things. Goths look more to the way we feel. We accept that there is dark and light in everyone's life and you can only see how bright the light is if you can also tell how dark the shadows are. It gives depth to your perceptions and you have not seen people so deeply happy as Goths in their community having a good night. Goths explore all the senses in how they engage with life, we live our lives more richly than non-Goths do. Neglecting one side of the human psyche and human experiences gives you a flat, distorted view of the world. If you want to know what it is truly to be a human, a mortal, then become a Goth.

People say Goths are ungodly, though in fact there are Goths who are Christian and in Japan where the culture is strong, Buddhist and Shintoist too. The Gothic Revival was embedded in a Christian Britain. There are dark elements, references to vampires and demons, but do not confuse Goths with those who delve in black magic, remember vampires are dismissed by a crucifix and the Goth gentleman rides to rescue the lady in distress, not to sacrifice her. Gothic culture is a culture it is not a religion. It is about exploring all that is in the human world but for the benefit of people not for any detriment.

A fascinating programme was shown (suitably) late on ITV1 (mainstream British commercial television channel) a few years ago; 'Why do Goths make such good lovers?'. It asked the question, why do you always see Goths in pairs and sought the explanation. A couple of years later I read there was a website advising non-Goth women how to find a Goth man to be their boyfriend; I have never tracked it down, but there are reasons why people might seek such advice. Basically Goths make good lovers because they are sensitive to feelings, they really like to explore their senses and they enjoy the extravagant. The parallels between what Goths like and what is seen as a 'romantic' setting are very close, think about it: lots of candles, dark roses, large iron beds, a roaring fire, silk sheets, dark wine, sumptious foods, a windswept night, the closeness of people, sitting reading poetry, talking about the future and so on. As the programme argued women often yearn for a man who is sensitive to their emotions and to their needs; they often like to dress extravagantly and to be made a fuss of; to have a man who takes care over his grooming and appearance; who can address them intellectually as well as physically and yet when the time comes can be sensual in his sexuality. As people speaking on the programme stated, often what Goths wear day-to-day is what others keep for the bedroom such as corsets, boots, lace, leather, etc. and in some cases reveal tattoos and piercings which are the kinds of things others keep discrete, so in one go they are both reserved but also up front about sexual appeal, a tantalising mix. Goth men are loyal and tend not to sleep around; they are generally seeking the one who can be their soul mate for eternity and will tell you so in poetry. So if you are a man or a woman who welcomes these aspects (and many people do) consider embracing the Goth and becoming part of this rich community, you can be sure there will be a like-minded partner out there.

Why is Goth still around, quarter of a century after it burst forth? Well, you tend not to grow out of it and Goths of the early 1980s are still Goths. In contrast to other 'youth' cultures (though in fact it now covers many age brackets), Goths tend to be the quiet intellectuals sitting at the back. As an article in 'The Guardian' newspaper ('I've Seen the Future - and it's Goth, 21st March 2006) showed Goths usually end up in very good jobs as doctors, lawyers, accountants, etc. and a lot end up in computing. They can compose sensible, moving words, they are computer literate (as so much of Goth society is knitted together by the internet and so much Goth clothing and products are bought online), they read widely and have an interest in art, literature and architecture. So, it is not for the chav population and it is a culture which you can stick with for life. At almost 40 I have no embarrassment about remaining Goth and there is always a new generation coming on, though unfortunately in fewer numbers than before.

So, if you feel at a loss in this modern world, I suggest you join the Gothic culture. Do a quick search online and you will find a whole virtual community. Get in touch with the richness of the whole scope of your feelings, revel in the extravagance of Gothic clothing and even decor; find yourself a partner for life who will explore all that it means to be alive.